MY PAST HAS SAVED MY PRESENT, SO FAR.....
MANNNNN, WITH THE BULLSHIT THAT WAS GOING ON IN MY LIFE RECENTLY AND STUFF. I FELT ME RETURNING TO A TIME B4 THE CHILDREN WERE EVEN AN ISSUE TO AND FOR ME AND I DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN MORE THAN I DO NOW. "CLASSY CAL", "T.D.T.", "SEAN", "THOMAS" WAS FIGHTING FOR SUPREMACY AND I FELT LIKE I WAS LOSING IT.
WEDNESDAY NIGHT WAS A TURNING POINT FOR ME WITH MY HEALTH, SEEING AS A FACTOR OF MY ILLNESS CAME TO LIGHT AND FUCKED ME UP BADLY. AFTER I WENT TO CHECK IN WITH MY SISTER AT THE HOSPITAL, SOME TESTS WERE RUN AND MY MORTALITY WAS DISCUSSED WITH ME. WELL, THAT STAYS WITH ME, BUT I TOLD ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS WHO SUFFERS FROM THE OTHER END OF THE SPECTRUM AND SHE KNEW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. FROM THE NAMES OF THE ILLNESS TO THE SYMPTOMS THEMSELVES.
I AM SOOOO LOVING THIS CHICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WHY I'LL 4EVER BE AT HER SIDE WHEN SHE NEEDS ME.
LET ME PUT THINGS IN PROPER ORDER.
AFTER THE HOSPITAL, I WENT OUT(STILL ILL) TO FULFILL A DEBT TO AN ASSOCIATE FROM MY PAST. AS I'M HEADING THERE, I'M THINKING TO MYSELF, CAN I STILL DO THESE THINGS IN THE SHAPE THAT I'M IN NOW? AND THAT WAS MY FIRST MISTAKE. I NEVER USED TO DOUBT ME. I STARTED DOING THAT RECENTLY AND IT FUCKED WITH MY HEAD, AIN'T NEVER GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!
WELL, I PSYCHED(?) MYSELF UP TO COMPLETE WHAT I HAD TO DO AND THE RELEASE TO DO THESE THINGS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! ALL THAT BOTTLED UP AGGRESSION WAS UNLEASHED!! DON'T GET ME WRONG NOW, I FELT SOME PAIN IN THE PROCESS, BUT IT FELT LIKE I WAS ALIVE AGAIN.
PLAYING THINGS COOL AND NOT LETTING THEM BOTHER ME WAS TAKING ITZ TOLL ON ME. CUZ THE PRESSURE WAS THERE BUILDING TO EXPLODE.
WELL AFTER THAT, MY PAINED FULL ASS MADE IT HOME. BUT I WAS RESTLESS TOO AMPED, SO I WENT TO THE STUDIO TO LOUNGE AROUND, BUT A BACK UP SINGER DIDN'T MAKE, SO I FILLED IN FOR THEM.
WEDNESDAY NIGHT WAS A TURNING POINT FOR ME WITH MY HEALTH, SEEING AS A FACTOR OF MY ILLNESS CAME TO LIGHT AND FUCKED ME UP BADLY. AFTER I WENT TO CHECK IN WITH MY SISTER AT THE HOSPITAL, SOME TESTS WERE RUN AND MY MORTALITY WAS DISCUSSED WITH ME. WELL, THAT STAYS WITH ME, BUT I TOLD ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS WHO SUFFERS FROM THE OTHER END OF THE SPECTRUM AND SHE KNEW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. FROM THE NAMES OF THE ILLNESS TO THE SYMPTOMS THEMSELVES.
I AM SOOOO LOVING THIS CHICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WHY I'LL 4EVER BE AT HER SIDE WHEN SHE NEEDS ME.
LET ME PUT THINGS IN PROPER ORDER.
AFTER THE HOSPITAL, I WENT OUT(STILL ILL) TO FULFILL A DEBT TO AN ASSOCIATE FROM MY PAST. AS I'M HEADING THERE, I'M THINKING TO MYSELF, CAN I STILL DO THESE THINGS IN THE SHAPE THAT I'M IN NOW? AND THAT WAS MY FIRST MISTAKE. I NEVER USED TO DOUBT ME. I STARTED DOING THAT RECENTLY AND IT FUCKED WITH MY HEAD, AIN'T NEVER GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!
WELL, I PSYCHED(?) MYSELF UP TO COMPLETE WHAT I HAD TO DO AND THE RELEASE TO DO THESE THINGS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! ALL THAT BOTTLED UP AGGRESSION WAS UNLEASHED!! DON'T GET ME WRONG NOW, I FELT SOME PAIN IN THE PROCESS, BUT IT FELT LIKE I WAS ALIVE AGAIN.
PLAYING THINGS COOL AND NOT LETTING THEM BOTHER ME WAS TAKING ITZ TOLL ON ME. CUZ THE PRESSURE WAS THERE BUILDING TO EXPLODE.
WELL AFTER THAT, MY PAINED FULL ASS MADE IT HOME. BUT I WAS RESTLESS TOO AMPED, SO I WENT TO THE STUDIO TO LOUNGE AROUND, BUT A BACK UP SINGER DIDN'T MAKE, SO I FILLED IN FOR THEM.
posted by TYGAH "SABRE" THOMAS | 4:45 AM
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