LAYING IN MY HOSPITAL BED
AS I'M LAYING HERE TYPING THIS, I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HELPED PUT ME HERE.
SOME FOLKS SAY ITZ BECAUSE OF A DIET THAT THEY THINK I EAT( I ONLY EAT TWICE A DAY WITH NO SODIUM INTAKE), BUT THATZ OK, LET THEM THINK WHAT THEY WANT TO. THE DOCTORS WERE AFRAID THAT MY HEART WAS GONNA EXPLODE WITH THE RATE THAT IT WAS BEATING. BECAUSE OF THE SPEED RATE THAT WAS PRODUCED THEY WONDERED IF MY HEART WOULD SWELL ANYMORE. I JUST SMILED, CUZ I'VE BEEN HERE B4 IN THE SAME CONDITION AND SOMETIMES WORSE AND HAVE HEARD THE SAME THINGS.
MY BELIEF IS THAT MY HEART IS TRYING TO ESCAPE MY CHEST BECAUSE ITZ TIRED OF THE PAIN INFLICTED ON IT.
WHEN WILL IT STOP AND IS DEATH THE ONLY WAY TO EASE THE PAIN?
EVER SINCE THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER, I'VE BEEN STRANDED , IF U WILL, WITHOUT A RUDDER IN THE SEA . MIND I WAS NEVER A "MOMMA'S BOY", BUT THERE WAS SECURITY IN KNOWING THAT THAT UR MOMZ HAD UR BACK , NO MATTER WHAT. EVEN OUR ARGUMENTS WERE OUTTA LOVE, U KNEW WHERE U STOOD. BUT WHEN SHE DIED, IT WAS LIKE MY BACKBONE WAS TAKEN OUT. SO IT TOOK ME A YEAR AND CHANGE TO REGAIN MY IDENTITY, I WAS NO LONGER "THOMAS-SON AND FATHER", I BECAME "JUST THOMAS AND FATHER". WHEN THAT IDENTITY BECAME ESTABLISHED, HERE COMES ADAMZ MOTHER TRYNA TAKE HIM FROM ME, MANNNN IF I COULD STILL GET AWAY WITH MURDER!!!
I'VE BEEN IN A BUNCH OF RELATIONSHIPS, BUT THEY WERE ALL EMPTY, THERE WAS ALWAYZ SOMETHING MISSING, THINKING BACK NOW I GUESS IT WAS SECURITY AND THE "FEELING" OF NOT JUST WANTING ME TO HELP MAKE U FEEL BETTER. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SETTLE DOWN FOR AWHILE NOW, BUT COULD NEVER FIND THE RIGHT ONE TO DO IT WITH.
THEN BLAM!!!! THIS IS HOW U KNOW GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!
HERE SHE COMES, FITTING RIGHT INTO PLACE LIKE A PUZZLE PIECE. LAUGHING, CONVERSING, JUST FEELING EACH OTHER, MEETING, HUGGING KISSING, ETC......ALL WAS GOOD (OR SO I THOUGHT).
*PLACE DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE*
LONG STORY SHORT, WHAT SEEMED RIGHT WASN'T BECAUSE LET HER PAST COME INTO OUR PRESENT AND DAMAGE US, BUT SHE WANTS TO GO ON WITH US LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENS.
SOME FOLKS SAY ITZ BECAUSE OF A DIET THAT THEY THINK I EAT( I ONLY EAT TWICE A DAY WITH NO SODIUM INTAKE), BUT THATZ OK, LET THEM THINK WHAT THEY WANT TO. THE DOCTORS WERE AFRAID THAT MY HEART WAS GONNA EXPLODE WITH THE RATE THAT IT WAS BEATING. BECAUSE OF THE SPEED RATE THAT WAS PRODUCED THEY WONDERED IF MY HEART WOULD SWELL ANYMORE. I JUST SMILED, CUZ I'VE BEEN HERE B4 IN THE SAME CONDITION AND SOMETIMES WORSE AND HAVE HEARD THE SAME THINGS.
MY BELIEF IS THAT MY HEART IS TRYING TO ESCAPE MY CHEST BECAUSE ITZ TIRED OF THE PAIN INFLICTED ON IT.
WHEN WILL IT STOP AND IS DEATH THE ONLY WAY TO EASE THE PAIN?
EVER SINCE THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER, I'VE BEEN STRANDED , IF U WILL, WITHOUT A RUDDER IN THE SEA . MIND I WAS NEVER A "MOMMA'S BOY", BUT THERE WAS SECURITY IN KNOWING THAT THAT UR MOMZ HAD UR BACK , NO MATTER WHAT. EVEN OUR ARGUMENTS WERE OUTTA LOVE, U KNEW WHERE U STOOD. BUT WHEN SHE DIED, IT WAS LIKE MY BACKBONE WAS TAKEN OUT. SO IT TOOK ME A YEAR AND CHANGE TO REGAIN MY IDENTITY, I WAS NO LONGER "THOMAS-SON AND FATHER", I BECAME "JUST THOMAS AND FATHER". WHEN THAT IDENTITY BECAME ESTABLISHED, HERE COMES ADAMZ MOTHER TRYNA TAKE HIM FROM ME, MANNNN IF I COULD STILL GET AWAY WITH MURDER!!!
I'VE BEEN IN A BUNCH OF RELATIONSHIPS, BUT THEY WERE ALL EMPTY, THERE WAS ALWAYZ SOMETHING MISSING, THINKING BACK NOW I GUESS IT WAS SECURITY AND THE "FEELING" OF NOT JUST WANTING ME TO HELP MAKE U FEEL BETTER. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SETTLE DOWN FOR AWHILE NOW, BUT COULD NEVER FIND THE RIGHT ONE TO DO IT WITH.
THEN BLAM!!!! THIS IS HOW U KNOW GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!
HERE SHE COMES, FITTING RIGHT INTO PLACE LIKE A PUZZLE PIECE. LAUGHING, CONVERSING, JUST FEELING EACH OTHER, MEETING, HUGGING KISSING, ETC......ALL WAS GOOD (OR SO I THOUGHT).
*PLACE DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE*
LONG STORY SHORT, WHAT SEEMED RIGHT WASN'T BECAUSE LET HER PAST COME INTO OUR PRESENT AND DAMAGE US, BUT SHE WANTS TO GO ON WITH US LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENS.
posted by TYGAH "SABRE" THOMAS | 1:49 PM
1 Comments:
"SOME FOLKS SAY ITZ BECAUSE OF A DIET THAT THEY THINK I EAT( I ONLY EAT TWICE A DAY WITH NO SODIUM INTAKE), BUT THATZ OK, LET THEM THINK WHAT THEY WANT TO."
Thomas Thomas Thomas, dear lovin friend of mine. I love you, you know this. But how you gonna say you dont have any sodium intake, when you eat FRIED chicken. Almost everytime I've been with you eating, you have eaten fried chicken or some type of processed chicken. Baby, that is nothing BUT sodium. Just because you you don't add salt to your meal, it doesnt mean there is no sodium in it.
We, those who care about you, say these things because we care. If we didnt care, we would say nothing, and let you eat yourself into an early grave. But for you to sit here and say you only eat twice a day with NO sodium intake....cmon now baby, you know that isnt true.
Everytime you prepare something that is prepackaged, or you buy something from the store it is loaded with sodium. You dont eat vegetables, which you NEED to reduce the cholesterol clogging your arteries.
Eh, but you dont listen anyway lol.
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